Monday, October 24, 2005

I Found The MoveOn.org T-Shirt

Judge Perkins bought the following T-Shirt from MoveOn.org. He currently wears this T-Shirt underneath his robe everyday in court:



Judge Perkins must be removed from my case in order for me to receive a fair trial! These MoveOn.org T-Shirts are downright slanderous! I would never make such a horrible face if I was butt raped. I'd probably enjoy it.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Everybody Loves Tom DeLay!


Just look at the pro-Tom headlines. I really faked them out with my smiling mugshot!

And now the Liberal Media is starting to report the twuth about Ronnie Earl and Judge Perkins:

Thank heavens that pop-star bitch turned white-trash mother was arrested. She can take her Kabbalah and stick it where the sun don't shine! The power of Tom has been unleashed. No liberal can stop me now!

Viva La Tom!

tag:

Friday, October 21, 2005

Judge Bob Perkins Is An Activist Judge

It's true. Judge Bob Perkins is a left-wing tyrant who practices judicial activism. He is the very reason I have been campaigning against judicial activism in our nations courts. These judges go after innocent patriots like yours truly and crucify them in the liberal media. I've said it before, but I'll say it again: Fuck the judges!

Perkins had donated money to MoRON.org, a communist organization that sells T-shirts with my mug shot on it! That is why Judge Perkins should be taken off the case. You better watch it Perkins or else Zell Miller might challenge you to a duel.

Tommy Boy Loves The Ladies!

Check out these two Republican hotties that just looooove me:



I just want to thank Miss Atlas Shrugs and Michelle Magalang for their support over these past few difficult months. Their hardcore librul-bashing and support of yours truly really turns me on. Hey girls, you want to jump in the hot tub with Tommy Boy this weekend? Miss Shrugs, please do wear that SuperGirl outfit.

Liberal America-Hating Media Speaks The Truth!

MSNBC: Smiling DeLay photo no help to Democrats



I told you that you can't stop the Hammer! Keep on trying but you'll just keep on losing.

You Democrats make me sick. You deserve to be sprayed with insecticide!

I'm An Austin-American!

Some little commie blogger decided to go stake out my Austin Courthouse appearance this morning. Hey Lindsay, why don't you go do what Dick Cheney told Patrick Leahy to do to himself. You little whiny blogger!

Then there's some loser that calls himself Blogenfreude who likes to photo-shop pictures of yours truly. You want a piece of me? You can't handle the raw power of the Hammer you little pinko New York City boy! Then there's other bloggers who take glee in showing my mugshot.

I have a message for all you silly liberals so listen up close. You really think you can stop the Hammer? There’s no chance in hell! I have legions of Murka-loving, librul-hating supporters that will crush you bastards! Once we topple the liberal media and exterminate the Democrats we will unleash the Glorious Christian Cultural Revolution...then and only then you will all suffer the wrath of the Lord.

Zieg heil, bitches!

Tommy D, out!

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Live Blogging From The Sheriff's Office

They got me . . .



The Hammer will strike again my friends.

The Hammer will strike again.

The Good Old Days

When I find myself in times of trouble, I tend to find comfort in reminiscing about the good old days. I've done a lot during the 58 years of my life. I have a feeling that my days of fun and games are about to end. My only request is that my future prison guards be kind to me and give me ample supply of KY Jelly.

When I was younger I was a follower of Haile Selassie. I can't stand all that reggae music shit, but I was a fan of Emporer Selassie's anti-communism. Here's a photo of me and Emporer Selassie back in the 1970s:



I acquired a love for country music back when I used to play with Hank Williams' kids. Here's a photo of me as child with the Williams family:



Those were good times. It makes me sad to think that my entire world is going to come crashing down. Hell, I've still got a few hours, so I'm gonna make the best of it. I'm gonna make it as hard as possible for that damn Ronnie Earl to find me.

So Ronnie, why don't we settle this like men--like Texans! I'll meet you at the Circle K on 18th Street in Austin. Mano e mano...OK Corral style! Are you man enough to take me Earl? Are ya?

Day Two, The Life Of A Fugitive

The liberal media is saying that today is "Booking Day" for yours truly. Not so fast you Murka-hating, terrorist-supporting, commie-loving pinkos! I'm still on the run. I chilled at Rummy's place last night. I'm not sure where I'm headed now but thanks to the prayers and divinations of my faithful zombie supporters I have come this far.

Here's a cheer to the real heroes--my faithful constituents. God bless you and may the Lord strike down all my earthly opponents with a furious wrath of holy justice.



Zieg heil, bitches!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

I'm On The Run...And I Need Your Help!

Those fucking bastards:


HOUSTON (Reuters) - An arrest warrant was issued on Wednesday and bail set at $10,000 for former U.S. House Majority Leader Tom DeLay ahead of his scheduled court appearance this week in Austin, Texas for money laundering and conspiracy charges, a Texas court clerk said. The so-called "capias" was a "purely procedural event" but would require DeLay to turn himself into authorities to be fingerprinted and photographed, Travis County Grand Jury Clerk Linda Estrada said.


They think that they can frog-march me? They better think again! I'm on the run, bitches! Now I need your help. Do any of you God-fearing, Murka-loving patriots want to provide a safe house for me? Just hang a dead lamb outside your door so I know it's safe to enter.

The left-wing communist conspiracy to sap and impurify my bodily fluids is intent on publicly humiliating me and branding me as a criminal. This aggression will not stand! I will not stand for the criminalization of politics! These left-wing socialist moonbats will stop at nothing to slander me with their baseless, hopeless claims. Damn you all, damn you all to hell!

Please help. I'm counting on all of you. Please sign my petition or make a contribution towards the Tom DeLay drive to publicly flog and hang Ronnie Earl.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

FUCK YOU RONNIE EARL!!!

My New Website

Greetings Friends,

As you probably know, the very partisan liberal communist terrorist supporter--Travis County D.A.--recently manufactured a phony indictment against me that is based on charges from the 2002 Texas State House elections. These charges are groundless and false. I am completely innocent. Corporate money laundering is not a crime! I was merely doing the peoples' business!

Just as Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison and other public officials have defeated similar attacks from this D.A., I will prove his allegations are baseless and without merit. Despite this partisan distraction, I will continue to represent my own interests and fight for the interests of our blessed corporate kleptocracy. I hope you’ll take a moment now to read more about exactly what is happening and why. Thank you for visiting and I look forward to keeping you up to date on our fight this evil pinko DA.

Sincerely,

Thomas "The Hammer" DeLay

Monday, October 03, 2005

I'm Still Here Folks

Now that I am no longer the acting House Majority Leader, I have some free time to spend on my blog. First of all, let me say that Ronnie Earl is a major dickhead! He is a complete partisan hack who is hellbent on destroying my prestigious career. Second, the liberal media has crucified me by spreading lies about my fundraising efforts with TRMPAC. Third, Jack Abramoff is still my homie no matter what the liberal media says about him. He taught me the joys of Asian sex-slave trading and that is something that I can never repay him for.