Friday, December 16, 2005

The Hammer Keeps On Pounding

Fuck yeah, I smashed those pinkos good.

Well my faithful followers, I am back for a brief update. I apologize for my absence but I have been out battling the evil forces of Ronnie Earl and his liberal Satan-worshipping communists. My battles have paid off. I have been highly successful in my efforts, so successful that the judge dismissed one of the baseless charges that Ronnie "I Suck Cock" Earl lobbed against me.

President Bush (God bless his holy soul) categorically stated that he believes I am innocent. If the president said it then it MUST be true, right? Remember all the things President Bush told our nation about Iraq--how Saddam possessed a nuclear, chemical and biological arsenal that could wipe out an American city within 45 minutes? How he had ties to Al Qaeda and was training terrorists on Iraqi soil? Well, all that stuff turned out to be--oh, wait, nevermind. So he was wrong about a few of the details. But hey, we're making progress over there in Iraq, so no sweat.

Trust me, you can believe the president when he says that TOM DELAY IS INNOCENT. Because I done no wrong. Alright my peeps, I'm off to the Northern Marianas to go bang some Asian sex slaves in a hot tub full of Green Jello.

Peace out, bitches!

8 Comments:

Blogger SamuelAlito said...

Tom:

If you can round up those last four or five senators to push me over the top, I'm sure I can do something about that pesky trial of yours.

Sam

9:32 PM  
Anonymous southernsoup said...

I think you should work harder for the Asian slaves, I mean um people to get their cute asses over here and work for gosh, shouldn't their appreiciation (and I mean that in every sense of the word!)be enough in itself?

10:33 PM  
Blogger Blogenfreude said...

Fill the hot tubs! Tom's back!

5:10 AM  
Blogger Blue Gal said...

We got yer back, Tommi!

http://ilovetomdelay.com

We'll be adding that link to ya asap.

xoxoxoxo

11:17 AM  
Blogger Tom DeLay said...

Thanks Baby! Just remember, my immense power translates into raw sex appeal.

11:41 AM  
Blogger Alicia said...

Tommi, we here at I Love Tom DeLay know full well the stunning power of your mighty mojo! We are honored to be able to connect with you, even if it's only a link...for now! Kiss, kiss!

http://ilovetomdelay.com

2:25 PM  
Blogger GEEZERPOWER said...

I'm so proud to be talking to you Tom. By golly if George says your innocent, it's pretty much Gospel.
Your friend Senator Gordon Smith out here in Oregon vouches for your innocence too. We just love Gordy for his promotion of the "Healthy Forest's iniative", and giving the Neocon's a voice in Oregon. We would sure hate to see him prosecuted too...

2:09 PM  
Blogger Oregon Senator Gordon Smith said...

I an really sickened by this aging liberals sarcastic comments about Tom Delay. Tom didn't do anything that any profit motivated politician wouldn't do. We'll see about this old geezers comments about. I have connections with people who can get him on the surveilence list.
By the way Samual...I'm with you on Toms trial, allthough...I don't really know him.

6:15 PM  

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