Wednesday, October 19, 2005

I'm On The Run...And I Need Your Help!

Those fucking bastards:

HOUSTON (Reuters) - An arrest warrant was issued on Wednesday and bail set at $10,000 for former U.S. House Majority Leader Tom DeLay ahead of his scheduled court appearance this week in Austin, Texas for money laundering and conspiracy charges, a Texas court clerk said. The so-called "capias" was a "purely procedural event" but would require DeLay to turn himself into authorities to be fingerprinted and photographed, Travis County Grand Jury Clerk Linda Estrada said.

They think that they can frog-march me? They better think again! I'm on the run, bitches! Now I need your help. Do any of you God-fearing, Murka-loving patriots want to provide a safe house for me? Just hang a dead lamb outside your door so I know it's safe to enter.

The left-wing communist conspiracy to sap and impurify my bodily fluids is intent on publicly humiliating me and branding me as a criminal. This aggression will not stand! I will not stand for the criminalization of politics! These left-wing socialist moonbats will stop at nothing to slander me with their baseless, hopeless claims. Damn you all, damn you all to hell!

Please help. I'm counting on all of you. Please sign my petition or make a contribution towards the Tom DeLay drive to publicly flog and hang Ronnie Earl.


Blogger Donald H. Rumsfeld said...

Want to chill at my place for awhile? I've got a fresh case of Jack D we could crack open...

3:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I pee'd my pants:-)

3:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't y'all worry Tom! Dubya will bail y'all out with one of them there terrist alerts! He'll blow sumptin up reeeaaal guud so y'all kin git away and hide out at his Crawfish ranch! Yer a grate Murrikin an we all luv ya! Booyah!

3:41 PM  
Blogger ThinkingManNeil said...

Hear those sirens, Tommy-boy? They're a'comin' FOR YOU!!!


5:28 PM  
Blogger His Majesty said...

Evil Bob Dole says:

"You wouldn't believe what they're saying about you."

6:27 PM  
Blogger Ugly Mofo said...


Be sure to have some lube ready. You're gonna need it.

10:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

...and not just some pussy federal arrest warrent - this is TEXAN!


8:52 AM  
Anonymous Captain Canuck said...

Someone should run a red hot poker up your ass,you Texas Faggot.

11:06 AM  

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