Monday, April 11, 2005

The Contract with America Redux

As House Majority Leader I have updated the Contract with America for the 21st century. Here ya go bitches!

As Republican hustla of tha hizouse of representatizzles n as citizens seek'n ta join tizzy body we propose not jizzy ta change its policies, but even more important, ta restore tha bonds of trizzust between tha thugz n they elected representatizzles. thizzay be wizzy in this era of official evasion n ridin' we offa instead a detailed agenda fo` national renewal, a written commitment wit no fine print.

This year offas tha chance, bitch four decades of one-party control, ta bring ta tha hizouse a new majority tizzle will transform tha way congress works. that historic change would be tha end of government thizzay be too big, too intrusive, n too eazy wit tha publics money. it can be tha beginn'n of a congress that respects tha values n shares tha faith of tha american family.

Like Lincoln, our fizzirst Republizzle president, we intend ta act "wit firmness in tha right, as God gives us ta see tha right." To restore accountability ta Congress . know what im sayin?. To end its cycle of scandal n disgrace. To makes us all proud again of tha way free thugz govern themselves.

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